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I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. So, you changed your mind? Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. 4. I'm afraid I can't do that. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. 9. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. 11. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. 11. Chuck Bass? All rights reserved. What do you mean Im still single. 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Funny as phuck. Oh, what a long list. Keep calm and be awesome. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. Some people spend all their time on their phone. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. 31. 150+ Funny and Witty Answers to the Question "How Are You?" Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? 57. I have been going through GOT in my work life. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. 1. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. Spiritually? Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. My bad, its just your mouth. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . I will leave that up to your imagination. 86. You just have bad luck at thinking. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. The government? Are you going to help me have a good day? How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. This one is funny when you havent said anything. "Still alive" is polite. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. but it's just so blunt and funny. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Someone took their costume way too seriously. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. I'm overqualified! Usually, people live and learn. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. Because Im awkward and ugly. To text, most of us need our thumbs. 79. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Ah, sarcasm. So much better than most people. Dont wake me up yet. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. 1. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. 15. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. Because your ass is out of this world! I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Happy, and I know it. Unlikely, but worth a shot. 91. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Youre not as bad as everyone says. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. As for me, I cant even afford honey! Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. I always root for the little guy. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. Dont let your mind wander. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Not Bad. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Try a Humorous Reply when Someone Asks "How Are You?" - All Women's Talk The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." We cant always get what we want now, can we? In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? Reply. Now that is pretty f****** funny. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. No, they're prison pants. Are you Jamaican? Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. Just Smile And Nod You should really come with a warning label. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Learn more about us here. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads 10. But half the time, it is a nightmare. 69. Best "How Are You?" Answers. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. 3. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. I just adore my own company. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. Then you die. 2. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. 42. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. Could have been worse, right. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. I favour the "How am I what?" Are you serious? 13. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. I hope you like some of them. I really thought you already knew. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. 48. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. 74. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. Thats because Im still waiting for you. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. 71. 15. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. 9. That's impossible. 36. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. 83. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. 14. Yup, I dont share it. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? Im always there when I need me. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. At minding my own business? I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. Physically? 22. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). 7. 27. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). Have you been thinking? See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Im too expensive. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. You're the reason God created the middle finger. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. I'm alive, whoa! Spiritually? 98. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Heart-shattering. 87. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. via: Pexels / George Pak. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Because Jamaican me crazy! Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 95. Brilliant! 41. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. And it's time for me to make my escape. I died last week, since then. Oof, gotta hide! "I'm alright, mate". Did someone leave your cage open? If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. 16. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Maybe you can Google it. 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. You have an old soul. 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. 80. I'm wondering how you are. Financially? Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. 32. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? Oh, stop it, will you? Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. 55. I never even listen when you tell me them. In fact, they're taking too much of it. 38. Then the worms eat you. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?!